A LETTER TO MY FIRST LOVE
The coldness of my heart , she took me in. And I knelt at her feet, for love. “For the love You Save”. The type of love that I felt that I needed. A love that makes you, “Happy”. I felt like I was on the, “Treadmills of love”.
And she would feed me with her sex. And no matter how bad she treated me. I would just jump back on that treadmill, again and again. “ A Fool For Love”. Scurrying along the path, the path, of her heart. I loved her more, than I loved myself.
She was,“ My First, My Last, My Everything”. When I met her, I felt my heart beat for the first time. But there was nothing, I could do, to please her. She stood there in her beauty, looking stunning. Looking like, “Mona Lisa”. And she had no idea, that she had captured my heart.
And I knew that, I could never tell her that. That if she found out, “That I Would Give Anything”. I would have given her, the power of life and death, over my soul. She was now, taking my heart, on a journey of no return. I was all in, willing to, “Gamble On Love”. Eventually, I became, “Soft Like Clay”.
And she began to shape, the “Clay”, into a form of her liking. And I could never go back to being, the “Same Man I Was Before”. I had become, “A Teenager In Love”.
Her anger was like, “Medusa”, at times. One look at her, and I would be, “Turn to Stone”. What was I to do? “If You Ever Stop Loving Me”. Where would I go? What would I do, with the rest of my life? When your love has given me, a “New Direction”. I needed her more than she needed me. I was a, “ Prisoner of Love.” There was, “No Escape”. She had the power to pull my heart, right out of my chest. Turning me into, the “Living Dead”. If I were to lose her, my only hope, would be for someone, to “Shoot Me!”. She knew that, even on our worst day, I would take the bad, along with the good.
I was never shook like this before. She was the first person, I gave my heart too. She said, that she would love me, “Always and Forever”. But, “Was It All A Lie”. When we used to fight, it felt like I was, slowly dying. And, “Staying Alive”, meant, that I had to run to her, and tell her, “I Want You Back!”. Our love was, “Thicker Than Water”. Each day we fought, I had to convince her, that “We Are The World”. “I Never Knew Love Like This Before”. When we finally broke up, I realized, that there was, no such thing, as “Endless Love”.
But, after It was all over, I believed that, I could find a love, that would equal, or even surpass, the love that I just had. I needed to find a women, who “Turns the flicker to a flame”. Before my loss, of “My First Love”, turns my whole world, “Misty Blue”. But as time passed, I found myself, “Coming Up Empty”. I was trying to, not only duplicate, what I once had. But I was also trying, to find you. In every women that I met. But you know what they say? You never forget, your “First Love”.
You warned me of this, while we were still together. You said, “No matter if we stay together or not, no matter if we end up with other people or not, “You Will Always Love Me”. I was much too young to understand what you meant. What we shared, I found to be that, “There Is No Equal”. “I Never Knew Love Like This Before”. What we shared together was ours alone. We were much too young, to know, what we had. That what we had, was not just, “Puppy Love”. But love, at its purest. You were adopted, and I was from a broken home.
It was, ”Just The Two Of Us”, “Against The World”. Life’s obstacles, were too much, for us to bare. “When We Get Married”, we will have everyone attend. That was always on my mind, at the time. But, that was not what you wanted, was it? You knew that, if I found out that you were, “Having My Baby”. I would have asked you to marry me. But I had to find out years later, that I was a “Father”.
And, that you had ”Aborted”, our baby. But I forgive you. Because you made me realize, what a heart is capable of. And because of you, I can now put my heart into everything that I do. You helped me to see, how resilient a heart can be. After we broke up, my heart was “Shattered Pieces”. Because we would always, “Break Up To Make Up”. That trained my heart, for what I was about to face, in my life to come. You taught me that, “The Greatest Thing I ever Learned, Is Just to Love and Be Loved in Return”. It has been 36 years since we met. And I wrote this letter, to let you know, that you were right. You are, the “Greatest Love of All”.